Marriage is a most misunderstood phenomenon. I still not able to understand its necessity in our lives! Most of the time man or women who entered into it end up losing his/her freedom. Still, we are carrying same rotten marriage system. With respect to time many things have changed, many social reforms happened but I still wonder why no reform happened in the structure of marriage? Why no reformers come up with a new structure of marriage which respect freedom and give homage to the individuality of the person? In day to day life, I always come across the people who endlessly debate on one topic that, what is appropriate for them “arrange marriage or love marriage”?. To be honest I find this question very trivial and one can only suffer by such question if he/she is foolish fundamentally or don’t want to face real life!
Real question will enquire very foundation of the process of marriage. That is, why one should marry? Is it compulsory and if yes then why? Or what you are gonna gain from it? Will it going to help you to move above the mental/physical/spiritual state in which you are currently living? If you come across these questions then you are in right track.
I observe people never ask these fundamental questions and they directly go to next step that is, they go for security! Financial security rank top most priority i.e. how much boy/girl is earning and they think if this achieved everything else will follow accordingly. But in real life this never happen, now they found themselves stuck in a situation where they are no more happy and can’t blame anyone for this situation! And then this vicious circle starts where you do everything just for completing formalities. You pretend to love your husband/wife even you don’t feel anything that’s why hypocrisy become your very nature.
The situation for women is worse in India; women suppose to obey her husband like God! (Even if he is a devil?) And in the same process, we repeatedly witness increasing act of marital rapes. Because in our society intimate relation between husband and wife treated as sacred. Even if a wife is not ready for intimacy but just because she is married she must be ready whenever his husband wants sex from her. How inhuman is this! Well, one can go on and on, on this topic but one does not require much intelligence to understand that these all problems arise because of our hollow approach toward the very idea of marriage.
That’s the reason before entering into marriage people must ask these fundamental questions. Because there is no point at achieving something at the cost of freedom! Freedom is supreme one must understand this.