To write something which you have experienced is not an easy task one always face a problem of expressing feeling in dead words. One may use very beautiful words to express his feeling but no words can replace the experience. That’s why Lao Tzu was not ready to write down his teaching for coming generation. He used to say that,‘Truth can not be written and if something is written then it can not be the truth’
Well, I am nowhere closer to Lao Tzu but experienced little by attending 10 days Vipassana Sadhana at Swarget, Pune.
Well for those who don’t know a single word about Vipassana Sadhana, It is a way of meditation which Buddha used for overcoming all the illusion of life. This Sadhana focuses on observing natural breath called “Anapana” and then observing all sensation without interfering with them which called as “Vipassana”.
From my 10th class, I started reading a lot about spirituality. I remember the first book I read about spirituality was written by OSHO and it was about BUDDHA. Reading that book was my first-hand experience about spirituality. Well, then I started reading books by J. Krishnamurti, Osho, Dalai Lama etc. When you read a spiritual text you become aware of the necessity to look inside and to come out of all the problems you are suffering. But just reading spiritual text won’t help you overcoming your suffering! At a certain stage, I realized that whichever way you try but just reading the spiritual text not going to help me experiencing any reality of life. In such situation one find oneself trap in a situation where one know all great philosophies but realized that he didn’t have experienced any of those realities.!
That’s the reason it was my serious attempt to learn and practice Vipassana. To write about my experience it bit difficult task, still, I will try my best to write down everything possible.
#Day 1 to 3
My first day at Vipassana Centre was great and exciting.I was very much excited about learning this Sadhana. The first day they teach us “Anapan” Sadhana which means observing your natural breath without interfering with it. It lasts for 3 days, up to 3 days we need to practice only Anapana method. It was not an easy task in starting I started realizing that my mind is not in my control but rather I am in control of mind! Same apply for many of us. For the entire day, I was focusing on my breath and gradually able observe my breath without any interference of thought. Sometimes I remain in the state of observing my breath but again in next moment thoughts start to come in. So it was a constant struggle for first 2 Days. Then I realized such struggle can lead me nowhere because with whom I am struggling with? When I ponder on this question I realized that’s why all spiritual masters suggest that you should just observe every thought without interfering with them, without making any reaction without judging them. Then I started observing my breath and thoughts without any prejudice.Then I started getting sensation at my forehead.
#Day 4 to 10
The fourth day you learn actual Vipassana Sadhana.Vipassana is a way of self-transformation through self-observation. It focuses on the deep interconnection between mind and body, which can be experienced directly by disciplined attention to the physical sensations that form the life of the body, and that continuously interconnect and condition the life of the mind.
It is this observation-based, self-exploratory journey to the common root of mind and body that dissolves mental impurity, resulting in a balanced mind full of love and compassion. In simpler words, It is simply observing all sensation happening insight the body without judging. It is like scanning the whole body repeatedly to observe sensation. Be it good or bad. At start one may not able to get any sensation because it requires much sensitivity to observe sensations of the body. But by continuous practicing one can easily able to observe sensations. The method was to observe sensation and its nature of impermanence. That sensation rise and eventually dies.
#Unlocking the Subconscious Mind
Vipassana helps in penetrating the conscious mind. One can see what is there in subconscious mind. This happened with me while practicing Vipassana, I was able to witness many of my childhood memories and many such events which either makes me very happy or unhappy at that time. One must remember that our conscious mind doesn’t know about these memories but our subconscious mind knows every detail of every event which happened in our life. It was like watching all my life events from my childhood. Well, here I am not claiming that I observe everything about my memories but yeah I got glimpses of my subconscious.
# Question of Previous Birth.
Whether Re-Birth happens or not it is a debatable question. And I don’t want to go into it. Well, personally I am neutral about this question. I am not believer or disbeliever of the idea of rebirth.I believe in searching the answer, though.
While practicing Vipassana, I used to see the sudden flash of images which comes and go out of those many were related to my life events.I used to see then with right attitude without judging them. Many times I used to witness the images which were not related to my life in any way. I saw many such images which were not related my present life. Very few of those images I can recall now. For example, I saw animals looking at me, I saw two couples having sex, Saw one dead body of Monk near one pond, Saw one Hindu OR Buddhist monk meditating silently. Those images are still is in my mind.
I ask our Acharya( Master) about this, that why I am seeing images which are not related to my life. He simply said, “Don’t give those images much importance, with a course of time you will witness many of such memories which are not related to you in this life.” Then taking some pause he continues “These are memories of your past life all these images which you are witnessing are connected to your past life experience” Then he cautioned me not to give much attention to these memories and see then with Samata(Without Judging ).
# Witnessing Sex Energy.
One interesting thing I experience is about sex. Well, it is a scientifically proven fact that food work as the supplement to sexual energy. If someone eats much then he may possibly possess more sexual energy than the ordinary man. If you fast for 1 or 2 days you will find that you no longer interested in sex that doesn’t mean roots of sexual energy has come to end in you rather it is just a result of observing fast for 2 days. It is simply like fire is not getting fuel for burning. The sexual problem even possess one psychological implication, that is bodily demand can be satisfied but psychological demand can never be satisfied! Like your body need food for a living but you want Burger! Here Burger is not a demand of body it is a demand of your mind.
In Vipassana center they don’t allow you to fast, one get adequate food so if someone observes some transformation in sexual energy then it is surely due to the practice of Vipassana. Same thing I personally observe. One or two times suddenly the sexual thought comes to my mind and I try to give continuity to that thought and suddenly found that I lost the thought itself! Next moment I was unable to even remember what I was thinking! And it takes some more time to realize what I was thinking! This situation can be explained by mind-body connection when we live in the natural state mostly we live life in accordance to flow of nature. So, in such point mind don’t work against body and transformation of sexual energy is possible.
Post Script: I am not in the position to support or oppose the theory of rebirth. I stated all my experience here just to be more honest with my experiences. Well, there is nothing wrong if you try Vipassana for 10 days. It doesn’t mean you will experience something extraordinary but at least you can see yourself for the first time. That possibly can open new doors for you.